:)

I hate to sound like every other blog on the internet, but it has been so long since I wrote anything. I am currently waiting to see how my job situation will work out. Waiting to see how our future unfolds and what direction it will take. I don't feel anxious anymore, and I don't feel afraid. I mostly feel excited about possibilities, some more than others.

A few things I would like to get back into doing: painting, reading for fun, studying the Word for connection and promise, going to the gym regularly and enjoying it, journaling, and photography. All parts of my past at some point that have slipped by me recently. I should pick one or 2 and make those a priority, then work my way around to any that really stick out.

I feel right now like I'm in some crazy place with God where He feels close the instant I think of Him. So closely linked to my emotions, so present. I feel like I don't deserve it because I haven't been taking time for Him like I feel I should, but thats not how He works anyway. I want to obey and seek Him out of love and joy, not to get a return. God owes me nothing, including His love, thats for sure.

Thats it for now. Another thing for my list above should be "blogging".

Apple Juice and walking shoes.

I want to start by saying that I really wish North Carolina made it easier for people to walk around. Even if there are sidewalks in the downtown areas, people don't usually yield to pedestrians/bikes which is dangerous..and it gets worse as you get further away from downtown. I enjoy being able to walk to a coffee shop/grocery store/bookstore, whatever. That's probably my favorite thing about Boulder..that and the stunning mountains here at the Flatirons. If only they made sweet tea... We did have Beau Jo's pizza last night, and I must admit that Colorado style pizza might be my favorite. I mean, the pizza is great (and served by slice or pounds..haha!) but then you get a honey-bear to put honey on the crust as a built in dessert. I was hooked.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love North Carolina. I just wish I could mesh them together and have some of both. If we ever settled here I would miss grits and collards, eastern NC barbecue, and being at the beach any weekend we want. Plus, we have family o close, and a church that continues to push me to treasure Christ more, and my sin less.

Its days like today that I want to make a "fresh start" and do things differently. But then I get overwhelmed and end up like before. So I think the best thing to do is see what need change and work on what I can..dedicate myself to one or two things at a time. Number one being prayer and quiet time. After that, my heart will be better able to take hold of other changes. The grace of God is powerful and I don't ever want to take it for granted. He gave me new mercies this morning to face this day and be obedient. I want to follow His Words and love more. I want to put aside the selfish tendencies in my heart and allow His fullness to guide me. My heart is still sick and hurting. I will never be out of need for Grace nor exhaust it.

Hos 14:9 Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them.