Its been difficult for me to remember to walk in the Spirit. It seems like the kind of thing that I would keep in the forefront of my mind, but I got more caught up in what wasn't right, rather than why. I listened to man instead of Christ. I was searching for worth and affirmation when it had already been given to me, in abundance. I'm still trying to put it all together, but my heart aches for truth.
I am thankful for the difficulty. The past few years have been marked with a lot of trials, things I had never faced before, and I truly see how Christ was teaching me to not depend on myself, and to trust completely in Him. I had no strength to continue, I had no wisdom to answer questions, and I had no vision of what is to come. But He does.
So, I guess the question might be, "what now?".. And its a great one. Now, I take it one day at a time. I learn to say no to my feelings and to obey Christ. My emotions deceive me, Christ never has. I dont feel like loving others more than myself, but Christ has commanded me to. I dont feel like being accountable, but Christ has commanded me to be. I have to learn to say no to these feelings that lie to me, and to obey Christ, in faith that those feelings will change. That I will love others, even those that are difficult to love, more than myself. That I will invite others to inspect my walk with Christ, and do it joyfully.
It will take a lifetime, and the lessons will change, but I am thankful that it means He will always be with me, and changing me. Less of Shannon, more of Christ.
